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I now know that there are real monsters that have no empathy and no conscience.
So fast forward into eleven years of marriage, and as each year went by he seemed to become more and more irrational and mean.
He would be angry at me and tell me I was not a good woman, but then next I was the most “ravishing” “smartest” woman he had ever known, he talked about me and bad mouthed me behind my back to his family and ex-wife (she helped perpetuate this) and his girlfriends, friends and daughters.
I found these degrading emails about me when I went on the search for truth after the phone call (when he meant to call the other woman) he made to me by mistake 4 years ago.
I still did not excuse her mentioning that she knew he was married, even though he lied to sway her.They just never said anything because they had no proof, they just felt it. I was horrified, I insisted he get help, he went one time, said the therapist said he had a lot of issues, he came clean with everyone, seemed sincere, ate crow, all the things you would expect, and I thought well he’ll not lie again, he is remorseful, he was traumatized by his wife leaving, etc.When I found out he was married that first year and confronted him, the reason he said he lied was that the woman who introduced us had gone out with him and he had never told her he was married. etc…made excuses for who I thought was a normal person who made grave mistakes. I did not know people could lie daily and pretend so well…..Turns out everyone at his company knows he was a player.When I called his family for help to help him, his sister immediately blamed me and stated that it takes two the make infidelity happen.